Let's face it, our carefully curated lives rarely survive the reality of adulthood. Behind the scenes, it's often caffeine-powered days, questionable choices, and pep talks (to ourselves and everyone else who'll listen!). But hey, we navigate this circus called life, even if the plan was scribbled on a napkin and then accidentally used to mop up spilled coffee.
Like many of you, I'm a big-picture dreamer. Dream homes, dream jobs, dream adventures – I love crafting that Pinterest-worthy future. But somewhere between scrolling and juggling actual commitments, I realized I might be falling for the myth of "having it all," right now, all at once. It sounds good on paper, but feels trickier in practice.
Now, indulging in future fantasies isn't bad - it helps us define our desires. Despite my own life's whirlwind (new jobs, continents, houses, relationships – it's been a ride!), my core goals - happiness, health, love, accomplishment, you know the drill – haven't budged much. But the details? They've evolved like a chameleon on a disco ball.
My vision, a tapestry woven with threads of happiness, adventure, love, spontaneity, network, and a touch of luxury, got me thinking about how these elements fit together. Take adventure and spontaneity, for example. My carefully planned life with the white picket fence took a detour, landing me unexpectedly on another continent for new adventures.
And when it comes to family, sure, I want kids someday, but their timing and situation have shifted to embrace the spontaneity that's become part of my story. The word "family" might not be in my vision anymore, but "network" and "love" have taken its place, reflecting the support that goes beyond blood. Friends, neighbours, colleagues – they're my chosen additional family, close enough to understand my struggles and celebrate my wins.
Career advancement is important too. I've been eyeing that promotion, but then what? Does the next rung guarantee the same thrill? My "vision" seeks accomplishment, not just titles. Are they intertwined? Can I find fulfillment elsewhere? What is that promotion about – achievement, financial stability, or both?
To dig deeper, I spoke to many career women working in the corporate world about how and why their vision might have changed over time. Many mothers shared how their priorities shifted after kids, despite their varied personal situations for care, home life and support. Work often took a backseat as attention turned towards family, leaving less energy for career ambitions. It's not everyone's story, but it's not exactly foreign either, and highlights a common truth: "having it all" while juggling kids can be, well, a juggling act. It seems you might have "pieces" of each part of your vision, but excelling at all simultaneously? Tricky.
Their stories challenge me to refine my vision and its practicality, checking in on what parts of my vision are really important to me now. Do I prioritize the promotion, or seek accomplishment outside work? Replace the promotion with a different job? Pursue a side hustle for that satisfaction?
The pressure to "have it all" is real, but it's also unsustainable. Juggling a fulfilling life filled with all elements of my vision, shared with family alongside a fulfilling career seems possible, but excelling at all of these simultaneously might not be. My current hypothesis? It's about finding a delicate balance, prioritizing elements of my vision based on what life demands at a point in time.
So, the journey to shape and adapt my vision continues. And guess what? It's time to check in, refine the plan, not throw it away! Instead of throwing out the napkin altogether, we grab a fresh one, adapt our vision every time the napkin starts to wear, and keep navigating.
I'd love to hear about your vision/plan/chaotic life too! Leave me a comment or get in touch to weigh in on this
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